The Dark Circle

2006-03-31T07:52:00.000-08:00

We all live in a yellow summerine.

You should have seen the look of dilemma on my face when i saw this sign.
To detach my pubes, so that it could enter the toilet seperately, was no mean feat.
But i did it. =)

and to match the theme of the week, heres some random stuff i found surfing around the net.

Ah yes, the japs call it intellectual porn.

Damn! I've got to get wadeva that bugger's drinking!

Erm, Ahem *clears throat*, Fanciful wedding cake.

Jielong: " Oei DIDI! help me collect my pubes from the pubic toilet can ? "

Xiao Di Di: " Hao Hao, mei wen ti! "

Jielong:" TaMaDe! i cannOt put it back on liao! "

Xiao Di Di: " Fang Xin, wo help ni! "

Ahhhhz. Xie Xie didi.

2006-01-06T05:43:00.000-08:00

mmbop.

2005-07-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

I've always sought to blog after feeling a sense of intense emotions, like now, though the reasons why i feel so would not be revealed. Though some incidents and expericence, i've now learnt to keep more things private to myself, afterall people do think i'm a better person when i say less mean things.
my sister is taking PSLE this year, and often i would feel the urge to tell her to stop getting distracted from her studies and concentrate. However, everythime i try to do so, the memories of my old days - having fun , playing the computer days before the exams- just remind me that she is no different than i was. I am a firm believer that most people have the chance to succeed, the children, lack maturity to know that their studies actually have a great hold on their future, the teenagers, lack the chances or determination to explore the unexplored, the grown ups, lack the courage and drive to step out of their comfortable environment.
For instance, if i could go back in time ( a wish everyone has, dont tell me you have no regrets, thats bullshit. ) , i would probabbly mug my ass off for the GEP ( gifted education programme ) exam, for the PSLE and even harder for the O levels. The same goes with children these days, obviously, children -being young and underexposed to the harshness of society and the world, would simply have one thought in mind, To be happy, without planning for what their future holds and drowning in their present and temporary happiness. Kids should be like that and enjoy their youth, unbounded to inhibitions and resposibilities which grow along with age , you say ?
Parents, on the other hand, often place their unfufilled dreams ( namely to succeed, to be rich , etc etc the list goes on ) and show death-like importance on their children's studies , sending them for tuition and memory-enrichment classes . But is that what children really need ? WOULD they even be better after being taught umpteen times by their tuition teachers when , in the first place, they have no idea why they are studying for ? A trip to disneyland for 4 band 1s perhaps ?
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPORTANCE, teach your children that , sending them to numerous tuition classes would do shit for them.
Then again, comes the question of what life is all about. I'm pretty sure millions of people before me have tried to answer this deep question. is a question that has no answer still a question My attempt shall do no better, i would think, but nevertheless i shall attempt to try. Being happy ? Doing something significant ? Or just to lead average lives, have an average looking life, holding an average paying job, on your death, you would look back on your entire life ( thats what the TV shows lah, when you die, your entire life flashes in front of you .. ) and what have you done ?
Most people would think that life is all about being happy and enjoying it, i support this idea. But then comes the question of what makes one happy ? TO lead an ordinary life ? TO have loads of money, sex , satisfaction ? Or TO help others and MAKE A DIFFERENCE ? I would say the bulk of us falls into the second category, correct me if i'm wrong. But i'd think that man , is born selfish. A chinese saying goes, ZHI2 ZHU3 CHANG2 LE4, loosely translated , it means being content = happiness, people who are able to do so are few and unknown to me. ( the inspiration is wearing out, sadly, shall continue next time. )

To be 2nd, is tantamount to being the last.

asdasd

2005-07-22T04:11:00.001-07:00

whose parents see a report card: AAAC CC and goes, go read more of straits times , work harder for your chinese...

fuck them.

muahaha

2005-07-19T15:35:00.000-07:00

love harry potter!
guess i feel that i'd rather spend my free time,which is alot, to indulge myself in a fantasy world with herm and harry n ron, than playing pool alll dayy long./

psycho.

2005-07-16T02:04:00.000-07:00

havent wrote for 12 days or so, which is actually quite long for my standards. Maybe its because i'm out playing pool all day or maybe its because i'm feeling much happier these days, and i dont know why, but i'm glad that i'm glad.

Since yesterday, as usual, i was real excited bout the soccer match on sunday.Come to think of it, i havent played 11 a side for like few months ? The idea of seeing many of my SLK ( the soccer team ) friends was a bonus which made me crave for sunday. Daydreaming- my favourite and most frequent hobby-. I wonder if everyone else does it, but i simply love to imagine and dream bout stuff like doing outrageous tricks and shots while playing, yet what happens in my head rarely becomes reality. But at least with each game, i feel hope in achieving the impossible, the spectacular.

Contrary to what cc and ws think ( they think i'm in lurrve... which is like.. impos.) the recent surge in level of happiness in me may actually be attributed to the fact that i'm starting to really bond with my classmates. In the end, they didnt turn out to be much different from me neither were they hard to get along with. Nor did they hate me ( i thought they did ). I'm glad that i finally managed to fight off my instincts and actually tried to spend more time with them, instead of isolating myself by frequenting the snooker room at every possible chance. At least now, i actually have friends in tj to do stuff with. Previously, i never went out with anyone in tjc , as in going out as friends.. not like class outings and stuff , and discounting josh and sher, who were my friends since sec n pri sch. Finally now, i get to play soccer with my classmates, though they arent the best of players, we still have fun in losing.

Started saturday at 5am, woke up early to try and get some long due homework done. But the lure of watching mcr vids and listening to music, fantasizing that i was a rock star, was too great. Unsurprisingly, nothing much was done. In the end, i spent my time watching some chinese movie on star chi movie channel, bout the underworld , which totally interests me. A character in the movie said something which made loads of sense to me, and really applies in the real world, loosely translated- " It doesnt matter how you do it, what actually matters is the results." Inspiring.
Went out at 830, hoping to play and train for the match tmw with some of my stpats friends, but the weather didnt agree and it started pouring, until bout 930. Then 5 of us, andr vin dary jare just kicked the ball around, not the training i was hoping to achieve, but still a consolation. Apparently the rain detered some of the other guys from coming, so we couldnt start a real street soccer match. Anyway had fun later playing pool with clare in mega, then we ran out of money and so i decided to sneek him into tjc snooker room for a round, no wait, 20 odd rounds of pool, cheap and free pool. Just as every sport, pool offers satisfaction, one of the joys of life. The sound of potting a long shot, gives you the satisfaction somewhat similar to what a golfer gets when the ball enters the hole, that simple yet magical sound. The intensity and creativity to try and get out of a snook or to snook your opponent. The focus and composure needed , to hold your nerve on the final ball.
Anyway the feeling is simply hard to describe, but yet strongly addictive. Our free pool session ended at 4.00, when i saw ym at the bus stop, looking rather jaded and unbelievably , unhappy. I thought i had this weird feeling whilst talking to her, maybe it was because all the time i've seen her, she had never been this cheerless. I just guess it was because of the jcts, and i didnt make her feel better by making her talk about it. Maybe the hard floor she had to sleep on made her feel worse. I just didnt know how to respond to the stuff she said to me, the first time i heard her question why she came to tj in the first place, i thought she enjoyed the environment. Maybe i simply make a big fuss out of my life , making it sound more miserable than it really is, but sometimes , i look at her, beneath that lively and gleeful face, lies a string of worries , troubles and contradicting emotions. Doesn't everyone have that?

I used to think that life was uninteresting and revolved among the same stuff over and over again, sleeping ,eating , playing pool, soccer , movies, shopping, the list goes on, but doesnt go on as long as life goes. I've realised what makes life interesting- people.

Work numbs the pain, sleep heals the wounds, imagination brings euphorication.

Tomorrow would be a better day, SMILEs ARE INFECTIOUS!

dd

2005-07-09T12:54:00.000-07:00

bookworm test: count down to the day which harry potter half blood prince comes out.

lost.

2005-07-06T06:11:00.000-07:00

Have you had anyone, there for you ?
Anyone that you knew could keep your secret safe ?
Anyone you could trust?

i've never.

.jnkj

2005-07-06T04:22:00.000-07:00

I hate holidays and birthdays.
Kinda strange isnt it ?
Well, just the thought of spending these events make me look in despair at what i have. Valentines Day, a day to commemorate the loneliness , the helplessness and to envy those who have, while those who dont simply, sleep and hope that the day passes by like the next second.
Weeks before my birthday, i was all excited and looking forward to it. Yet simply a day before, i wished that i hadnt got a birthday at all. No one would celebrate it anyway, no one.
The feeling is just like, finding a locked treasure box, while you attempt to unlock it and get filled with anticipation. Yet after much effort, you find nothing inside.
Just like it was during common tests, you couldnt wait for it to end. Ironically when i finally does, you get the feeling "....so what now... " instead you just miss the studying which actually keeps you occupied. I've just realised a thing.

My life sucks.

The geeks get the girls

2005-07-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

Geek Test:
Unhelplessly grinning when listening to 'The Geeks Get the Girls'

quiz

2005-07-01T06:13:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Deadly Sins

Greed: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Sloth: 20%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die love and feared by many. And you'll be buried in a tomb.

How Sinful Are You?

funny not.

2005-06-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

Really regretted not following desperate housewives series after so many people said that it was good.
The thought of watching desperate 30-40 year olds flirt and talk sex just didnt interest me.
If only they called it Desperate College Girls.

fire.

2005-06-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

I think the boredom is getting to my brain.
These are my recent hobbies: burning insects, burning plastics, running in the middle of the night.
Fucking jcts ruin my hols.
I realised that burning plastic strings are flammable. Burning them even produces drops of melted plastic, which hits ur hands and causes a burn mark. Wonder if i could create a pattern of some sort using them.
Kinda pain though......
but isnt life filled with it anyway ?

myriad of thoughts

2005-06-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

Strange how loads of ideas came to my mind when i wasnt in front of the computer, now, staring at this pure white screen, it goes blank. Oh well, they would probabbly come back as i keep writing, writing, like my previous teachers said.

Leading an ordinary life sucks. 365 days a year, you study 5 days a week, the pressure errodes your fun side and life just goes on repeating itself. Assignment after assignment, neverending projects with scumbags as classmates who are simply, fuckers. You go on seeing the same people around in school, people who you just wanna say Hi and nothing else, with no interest whatsoever to form a deeper relationship. People you dread to see more than once in a day, simply because the thought of saying HI twice, and nothing else, would be soo... bummed.

The occasional drinking + Epl session , the saturday morning soccer, the Wednesday friday pool snooker session. Thats how my life goes on. 1 word. BORING.
Looking around me, it seems that everyone has moved on whilst i remained stagnant, wishing and hoping that things would all stay the same, reluctant to admit that i NEED new friends, the old ones simply..... unreachable.
Yet, this freakish nature in me sees only flaws in people.
Meeting new people, i say 'Hi' but in my mind, it actually goes 'ok another lame lowlife ass, can i go now ?'
It sucks having to start all over again, its probabbly weird for me to say this when i'm 6 months into another school, mainly because the 5 months before i still had my sec sch friends around with me, now that poly has started, the reality of being in a new and crushing environment suddenly dawned upon me.

I miss my friends.

Open Again !

2005-06-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

As people might have predicted, yeah i'm back blogging again. Somehow i find that my thoughts and feelings are far better expressed to a cold and unjudgemental machine rather than to other people. I guess its just 'Jielong' to say something and mean another, to promise something and then turn back on his word after awhile.

17th June 2005.
Just came back from a rather eventful outing, the biggest being the mix of emotions surging from a friend, 8, who has this habbit, or should i say fear, of letting people know his innermost feelings. Kind of like a person who has no one, to confide in, no one trustworthy enough to let in, or no one to provide a listening ear, no one who wouldnt laugh at his childish, yet founded worries.

People often say, ( notice what people often say, is also often wrong.)" dont care bout what other people think, just do whatever makes you happy." - Filled with sense, yet simply unrealistic aint it ?
How is it possible, to ignore what other people think, when the people around you, your best friends, are pouring you with mockery. Is it possible to live together in a world of 2, oblivious to the people around you, and not succumbing ( dunno how to spell sia. ) to the pressures of ur friends and family?
When 2 people dont make the world, you know its not possible. ( pretty chem eh ? )

Let us reflect on ourselves. Yes. OurselVes.
In case u still dont geddit, its ur different selves. ( haha its hard to understand but bear with me alittle.)
The 'self' that people think you are, the 'self' that you WANT people to think you are, the 'self' that you really are, or the 'self' that you no longer know. ( Hmm so which part are you lost at ? )

Getting late, the inspiration worn out. Shall update. soon.

I shall attempt to write an interesting blog.

2005-04-01T04:19:00.000-08:00

The only time where u are doing nothing while doing something. Hmm that doesnt make sense does it?
He was bound to his spot, by an unknown force. There he could not help himself but abide to the compelling urge. In an attempt to amuse himself , he moves and plays with his reflections in the tiles before him. Trying to fill the void in his inactive brain, he ponders on whether the inquisite pattern formed by the tiles before him was intended. Duh, it should be, he thought. Suddenly, the unthinking boy's ludicrous thoughts were disrupted by an explosion that mimicked a broken dam that brought forth a mightly stream of fluid.A jet of murky brown water slowly stained the clear waters . The wonders of diffusion. Meanwhile, he was filled with a sense of undesirable satisfaction. Yet he wanted all this to end, but it was beyond his control. There he waited, slowly getting the feeling that all was over. However how deceiving nature can be, as he ventured to get up, another surge of power burst from within. It was not over. This new eruption drained him of much of his strength and sent convulsions down his thighs. He begged , begged for all to be over. He passed. The nature's hurdle was now over and it left him feeling empty and hungry within. Yet the stench that overpowered him erased all his need for food. Finally, he left nature's classroom, and his life continues. Somehow he knew..... that all was not over.

ps: In case u still dont know, the above a creative writing of my experience of defaecating, with all bombastic words courtesy of www.dictionary.com 's thesaurus.

So the next time you visit nature's classroom, polish the tile in front of you ok? You're gonna have to do something~