psycho.

havent wrote for 12 days or so, which is actually quite long for my standards. Maybe its because i'm out playing pool all day or maybe its because i'm feeling much happier these days, and i dont know why, but i'm glad that i'm glad.

Since yesterday, as usual, i was real excited bout the soccer match on sunday.Come to think of it, i havent played 11 a side for like few months ? The idea of seeing many of my SLK ( the soccer team ) friends was a bonus which made me crave for sunday. Daydreaming- my favourite and most frequent hobby-. I wonder if everyone else does it, but i simply love to imagine and dream bout stuff like doing outrageous tricks and shots while playing, yet what happens in my head rarely becomes reality. But at least with each game, i feel hope in achieving the impossible, the spectacular.

Contrary to what cc and ws think ( they think i'm in lurrve... which is like.. impos.) the recent surge in level of happiness in me may actually be attributed to the fact that i'm starting to really bond with my classmates. In the end, they didnt turn out to be much different from me neither were they hard to get along with. Nor did they hate me ( i thought they did ). I'm glad that i finally managed to fight off my instincts and actually tried to spend more time with them, instead of isolating myself by frequenting the snooker room at every possible chance. At least now, i actually have friends in tj to do stuff with. Previously, i never went out with anyone in tjc , as in going out as friends.. not like class outings and stuff , and discounting josh and sher, who were my friends since sec n pri sch. Finally now, i get to play soccer with my classmates, though they arent the best of players, we still have fun in losing.

Started saturday at 5am, woke up early to try and get some long due homework done. But the lure of watching mcr vids and listening to music, fantasizing that i was a rock star, was too great. Unsurprisingly, nothing much was done. In the end, i spent my time watching some chinese movie on star chi movie channel, bout the underworld , which totally interests me. A character in the movie said something which made loads of sense to me, and really applies in the real world, loosely translated- " It doesnt matter how you do it, what actually matters is the results." Inspiring.
Went out at 830, hoping to play and train for the match tmw with some of my stpats friends, but the weather didnt agree and it started pouring, until bout 930. Then 5 of us, andr vin dary jare just kicked the ball around, not the training i was hoping to achieve, but still a consolation. Apparently the rain detered some of the other guys from coming, so we couldnt start a real street soccer match. Anyway had fun later playing pool with clare in mega, then we ran out of money and so i decided to sneek him into tjc snooker room for a round, no wait, 20 odd rounds of pool, cheap and free pool. Just as every sport, pool offers satisfaction, one of the joys of life. The sound of potting a long shot, gives you the satisfaction somewhat similar to what a golfer gets when the ball enters the hole, that simple yet magical sound. The intensity and creativity to try and get out of a snook or to snook your opponent. The focus and composure needed , to hold your nerve on the final ball.
Anyway the feeling is simply hard to describe, but yet strongly addictive. Our free pool session ended at 4.00, when i saw ym at the bus stop, looking rather jaded and unbelievably , unhappy. I thought i had this weird feeling whilst talking to her, maybe it was because all the time i've seen her, she had never been this cheerless. I just guess it was because of the jcts, and i didnt make her feel better by making her talk about it. Maybe the hard floor she had to sleep on made her feel worse. I just didnt know how to respond to the stuff she said to me, the first time i heard her question why she came to tj in the first place, i thought she enjoyed the environment. Maybe i simply make a big fuss out of my life , making it sound more miserable than it really is, but sometimes , i look at her, beneath that lively and gleeful face, lies a string of worries , troubles and contradicting emotions. Doesn't everyone have that?

I used to think that life was uninteresting and revolved among the same stuff over and over again, sleeping ,eating , playing pool, soccer , movies, shopping, the list goes on, but doesnt go on as long as life goes. I've realised what makes life interesting- people.

Work numbs the pain, sleep heals the wounds, imagination brings euphorication.

Tomorrow would be a better day, SMILEs ARE INFECTIOUS!